Success News You Can Use, High-Heeled Success® Newsletter - May/June, 2019

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May/June, 2019  

May/June Newsletter

Lead Article

Create a Different Filter for Workplace Interactions

Kay Fittes, June, 2019

If you’re someone who is easily put-off, feels you’re being criticized, overwhelmed or picked-on at work, maybe it’s time for you to learn how to not take things so personally in the workplace.  To be blunt, it’s time to grow a thicker skin and grow up!  Put your big girl pants on!

I’ve seen this issue surface with coaching clients many times, and once you realize how to have a thicker skin, the benefits are huge.  When you can be pragmatic and less emotional, you will be seen as more of a professional, as someone who is tougher in the workplace and capable of playing with the big dogs.

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Kay’s Consulting Corner

Kay Fittes

Each month in this section, Kay offers actionable career consulting tips.

Action Steps for Professionalism

  1. Slow your reaction time.  You will always be in better shape if you take time to process information and create a response.  Manage it by looking at the severity of the situation.  If it’s no big deal, take a breath or two, then respond.  If it’s really significant, ask for an hour or a day to think about it.  The bigger the deal, the longer, slower the reaction time should be.  Be sure to tell your co-worker what he/she can expect from you.

  2. Always manage the tears.  If you have to dig your nails into the chair to stop from crying or excuse yourself to the bathroom, you have to suck it up.  Seriously, quit being a big baby at work.  Think about the famous line from the classic movie, “A League of Their Own,” directed by Penny Marshall.  If you picture Tom Hanks saying, “There’s no crying in baseball,” maybe you’ll laugh instead of cry.

  3. Choose what to accept and what to ignore.  Separate what is actually about work being done and what is about a personal situation.  When you receive personal criticism, ask for clarification.  As an example, suppose someone tells you, “You don’t work well with people, you’re abrupt with others, or you sabotage people.”  You have a right to ask what that means and ask for an example of when that happens.  Once the criticism has been clarified, be willing to own it, take quick action, and demonstrate that you’re willing to take strides rather than focus on being criticized personally.

Sometimes your career may get stuck or just not look as you envisioned it, let me be your partner in changing that trajectory.   Call Kay at 513-561-4288 or email me at

Client Testimonial - Leslie Mitchell

Leslie Mitchell

I met Kay many years ago when she gave one of her fabulous presentations to a professional group I was a member of.  A couple of years ago we reconnected at a BizWomen’s event and set up a date to meet for coffee.  Wow, did she get an earful as it turned out to be a loaded day for me.  She was very patient and offered useful tips to get me un-stuck.  About a year or so ago, we became part of a small business/consulting networking group.  I was at a place in my career where I thought an executive coach might be what I needed and I immediately thought of Kay.  Truthfully, I debated a while wondering if our relationship might be too close to make it work.  After our interview call, I knew immediately she was the right person for me.

Working with Kay has been a tremendous and enlightening experience.  She asks the right questions at the right time.  I have no idea how she does it, but she gets right down to the root of it all.  I never get advice, just questions – many, many questions.  There have been days that we had a meeting scheduled and I thought about cancelling because I was highly stressed or something was “on fire.”  Those have probably been some of the most productive sessions we’ve had.  I always feel re-centered, invigorated, and ready to take on anything after we talk.

The results I have seen in myself are far more than I expected.  I carry myself differently and have come to realize that I have the talents and knowledge to do what I want and need to do.  I am much more diligent about chronicling my successes and asking for what I want instead of waiting to be invited.  I am more focused and productive with my time.  In short, I found the fire and drive that helped me achieve the successes earlier in my career and am learning to build on these for further accomplishments.

If you are looking for someone to meet you where you are, kick you in the behind a bit, and help you get energized and refocused, call Kay.  She has so much experience to back up her work.  And, she is focused on women, a real plus since the rules (real or perceived) are a bit different for us.  You can expect someone who has a wonderful sense of humor and who wants to see you succeed.  It is the best investment in time and money I have made in a long time.

Leslie Mitchell
Vice President of Human Resources
Planned Parenthood Southwest Ohio Region

Dress for Success

High-Heeled Success® supports Dress for Success through donations of clothing, time and money.  We offer complimentary seats at every workshop for women participating in the Dress for Success program.


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