Kay’s Consulting Corner

Each month in this section, Kay offers actionable career consulting tips.

Stand Your Ground in the Workplace

Sometimes we encounter situations where people in positions of power seek to undermine us or our work.  I have counseled women out of a rock and a hard place who thought they’d be stuck there forever.

1. Recognize Saboteurs – You’re not going crazy, or being paranoid.  Some people really are just out to get you.  Trust your instinct if you’ve been crossed more than twice by a co-worker.  Guard and document your work if your ideas or efforts have been stolen by someone and claimed then as their own.  Spreading rumors, or worse, lies is another common saboteur behavior.  Confronting the affronter is the only way to stop this activity.  Inform them you are aware of their actions, and that they won’t be tolerated.  Facing the bully is the only way they will back down.  Left unchecked, they will thrive on your frustration and ability to intimidate you.
   
   
2. Assert Your Wants and Needs – Say what you want and mean it!  Women who say, “I don’t care, you decide” or “whatever you want is fine”, typically cater to the wants and needs of everyone but themselves.  This may work from time to time in a social setting, but people prefer directness and someone who can make a decision.  In business, delegating decisions concerning your future will not take you very far.  Ask for what you want.  Is it a raise, a promotion or more vacation time?  Ask for it!  Don’t be shy.  As the adage goes, the worst they can say is no.  The uptick is that you asserted yourself, showing you have the power to stand up for your wants and needs.
   
   
3. Recognize and Manage Leveling Behavior – As mentioned in my lead article, not everyone is equal at the office.  Common among women in social circles, we like the thought and feeling of togetherness and all being on the same level plane.  Business does not operate like that.  Sooner or later, you’ll find yourself in a situation where a female co-worker is promoted and is now your manager, or you will be positioned as the head of a team that you once worked within.  Resist leveling behavior, which can result after such changes.  When a co-worker advances above them, both women and men will resort to behaviors to put the promoted party “back in their place”.  This can manifest as a look, nasty comment, or body language.  Don’t stoop to this level.  It doesn’t reflect well on anyone, least of all you.  Understand it and recognize it if it happens to you.  Respond by letting it roll off your back and subside, or address it head on if the perpetrator persists.

If you feel you are being undermined or ‘not heard’ at work, I can help you identify behaviors that might be contributing factors, or provide useful tools to experience career breakthroughs.  Please give me a call to set up a complimentary consultation to explore the possibilities.

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*Your referral should put your name in the comments box when they register online, or provide your name if they call the office at 513-561-4288 to register.  Cash incentives awarded during workshop.

Client Case Study – Jenifer Quinn-Wilson

I first met Kay Fittes at an eWomen Network meeting.  She entered the room with such presence, that I instantly wanted to know who she was.  When she spoke at our next meeting I knew she was exactly who I needed in my life to get to the next level of my career.  From her ease with others, to her powerful engrossing words, it was clear she would be integral to my journey.  After a meeting one day, I announced to her that I had chosen her to be my mentor.  She chuckled (completely setting me at ease) and said “Well let’s make that happen.”

Then she invited me to one of her High-Heeled Success^® workshops, “A Woman’s Guide to Powerful Presentations”.  I truly had no desire to ever do public presentations but I went.  It was the beginning of a big shift for me.  I realized everything she was teaching could be utilized in every facet of my life, not just business or public speaking.  Her approach truly engaged me, the way her workshop ran.  I was sad when it ended.  My grading mechanism in workshops is how many times I look at my phone during the event.  If I’m looking at my phone the entire time, I have obviously not been engaged.  Usually a good one finds me checking my phone 1-10 times.  With Kay, I was completely enthralled--no phone time at all!  Since then I have only missed one of her workshops.

In order to understand how much Kay has influenced me, it’s important to understand where I have been and where in my life Kay entered.  After a series of physically and psychologically traumatic events in my life I was confined to a wheel chair and I lived as a shut in.  I had severe spinal stenosis, osteoporosis, PTSD, and agoraphobia, then my husband died.  I knew it was time to change, to heal, or die trying - because I was not living.  Shortly after that is when I met Kay.  With her coaching, I am at age 43, becoming the person I always saw myself as a child.  She has assisted me in finding my inner power, my passion, my High-Heeled Success^®.

As a result just this year:

• My makeup art and styling has been published locally, nationally and internationally several times.
• I walked in my first of many fashion shows.
• I completed and won my first beauty pageant.  I am now Mrs. Ohio Plus America.
• Next month I will be running for the next level of Mrs. Plus America.  I plan on bringing home that crown as well.

Running for the pageant pushed me in the direction of finding my passion, of helping others overcome their fears.  My platform is agoraphobia - the fear of leaving one’s home, transportation, and going outdoors.  Because of Kay’s tutelage I’ve been able to break through so many barriers I had imposed upon myself.  I now speak publicly about agoraphobia, and other panic disorders, how to recognize the symptoms, and how to help loved ones.  No matter where you are in life, or where you are going, Kay is the person to help guide you.  Having her as a coach has been life-changing for me, I know it will be for you, too.

Part of being in the Mrs. Plus America system is showing we have the support of our communities.  If you would like to donate to my goal of reaching nationals, or follow my journey, see below.

To follow my journey:
www.Facebook.com/destinationtiara

To help fund my journey:
www.socialcheckpoint.org/MrsOhioPlusAmerica
www.gofundme.com/destinationtiara
www.crowdrise.com/mrsohioplusamericadestinationtiara

Everyday I receive messages and texts from people all over telling me about their journey.  They are my inspiration, they keep me going and they are why I do this.

Jenifer Quinn-Wilson
Mrs. Ohio Plus America
Owner-Operator at Wonder Diva
Wonder Diva
513-379-3117

High-Heeled Success^® supports Dress for Success through donations of clothing, time and money.  We offer complimentary seats at every workshop for women participating in the Dress for Success program.

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Website: https://www.highheeledsuccess.com

Email: kay@highheeledsuccess.com

Phone:  (513) 561-4288

©Copyright 2015.  Kay Fittes.  All Rights Reserved.